Cailyn

Ok. So she looks a little freaked out in this photo. And she had MAJOR red eye from the camera flash that I attempted to eliminate digitally. Nonetheless, I think she's pretty darned cute!

Cailyn at 7 months old, lying on the floor of our apartment.

Monday - Oh wait, it's Tuesday!

This will be brief, as I'm at home and need to get laundry started, need to finish folding other clothes, need to make my bed, need to eat something for dinner (though I should skip it as I actually ate Taco Bell for lunch earlier - Taco Bell!).

Connor had a wonderful birthday and the party was fun and festive, though nice and small. It was just us, all of his sisters, his nephew Caleb and Caleb's daddy and my mom and stepdad.

I was swamped at work today, too. I'm currently reading a cool book called, "If Bhuddha Came to Dinner" (or something like that). I'm planning to write a little about it later, but I just heard my washer stop filling up with water so I've gotta throw the clothes in before the cycle changes. (I'm renowned for starting the washer, putting in the soap, then forgetting to put in the clothes because I get distracted and start doing something else. Jerry never lets me hear the end of it every time I do this).

Will write more tomorrow . . .

Please tell me it's Friday!

This week has been insanely busy for me!

On the up side, I've been really productive at work. On the downside, I'm just plain pooped!

My son turned 2 years old yesterday and was so cute - he kept walking around saying "Happy. Happy". He can't quite say "birthday" yet. And when Jerry and I sang to him when we woke him up in the morning, he gave us a look that said, "Please give me some normal parents, right now!" His party is going to be tomorrow morning, and I still need to buy the eats and two more gifts: a pillow (to go into the Finding Nemo pillowcase we bought for his bed) and a small photo album. He love looking at photos and since we live far from most of the family, I thought I'd buy him his own photo album and fill it up with pictures of everyone.

My mom and stepdad arrived last night from Tennessee for another visit, so Connor and Cailyn are staying home with them today. Hopefully they're all having a good time.

It's now about 10:40 am and I'm about to eat my shirt, I'm so hungry. And its ridiculous because I actually ate breakfast today: 1/2 c cottage cheese with 1/2 c frozen blueberries. A light breakfast, I'll grant you, but it's only been a little over two hours since I ate it, so I don't get it. I think I'll buy lunch before I even run to the store.

Shoot. I just realized I need to make a phone call asap so I'll have to write more later . . .

No time on Thursday . . .

V. busy today. Am eating well. Breakfast was coffee w/ creamer (30 calories). Lunch was a garden salad w/ low fat dressing - maybe 200 calories (maybe less). That's it so far.

Went shopping at lunch and bought a TON of Finding Nemo stuff for Connor's birthday party on Saturday. Our apartment is going to look over the top - I can't wait to see his face when he gets up on Saturday morning!

Ok. Gotta go to a staff meeting. Talk to you again tomorrow . . .

Another recipe. . .

In response to April, on being overscheduled: AMEN, SISTER! That schedule you saw yesterday is the main reason that I almost never post to my blog from home. Ironically, I’m usually way busier at home than I am at work. Work is relaxing, frankly. In all fairness, though, my weekends are generally not as full, though they have their own twists, particularly on weekends that the stepdaughters are visiting. Still, my daily routine is packed to the gills. And never mind if I actually have errands to run or need to pick something up from the grocery store during the week – that totally throws things off! I can hardly wait until we have soccer, gymnastics, karate (insert extracurricular activity here). And homework! The great thing is that I love my kids, so I’m not resentful of any of the time I spend with them, even if it is exhausting sometimes.

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Last night’s culinary adventure was another Foot Network Rachael Ray Recipe:

Rosemary Tuna Steaks with Eggplant and Zucchini

4 tuna steaks, 6 to 8 ounces
1 1/2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar, just enough to lightly coat the steaks
6 sprigs fresh rosemary, leaves chopped,
about 3 tablespoons Steaks seasoning blend or coarse salt and pepper
Extra-virgin olive oil, for drizzling, about 2 tablespoons

Eggplant and Zucchini Topping:
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, 2 turns of the pan
4 cloves garlic, chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
1 small, young, firm eggplant
1 small zucchini
1 small yellow squash
6 sprigs fresh thyme, leaves chopped, 2 tablespoons
Salt and pepper
2 small vine ripe tomatoes, seeded and diced

Preheat grill pan to high or preheat grill or charcoal. Coat tuna in balsamic and season with rosemary, salt and pepper. Drizzle fish with oil, coating lightly on both sides, about 2 tablespoons oil, total.

Preheat a medium nonstick skillet over medium high heat. Add 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, 2 turns of the pan in a slow stream. Add garlic, onion and saute 2 or 3 minutes. Dice the zucchini and squash while the onion begins to soften. Add the zucchini and squash to the pan and turn to coat and combine with garlic and onion.

Slice eggplant into strips and dice, then add to the pan. Turn to combine all of the vegetables. Add thyme, salt and pepper to season the mixture. Cook over medium high heat, stirring frequently, 10 minutes, until vegetables are just fork tender.

Grill tuna 2 to 3 minutes on each side for rare, up to 6 minutes on each side for well done.
When tuna is done and vegetables are fork tender, stir chopped tomatoes into eggplant and zucchini mixture and remove vegetables from heat.

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Jerry didn’t seem all that crazy about this recipe, but I LOVED it! I brought the leftovers in for my lunch today. Other than all the chopping, it was extremely simple, too. Mostly consists of sautéing the veggies and broiling the tuna. Simple enough even I could cook it! I haven’t decided what’s on tonight’s menu yet. Crapola. I just realized that since I hadn’t made a menu selection, I haven’t gotten anything out of the freezer to thaw. This will require thought.

Ok. Break’s over. Gotta get back to work. While thinking about what we’ll eat for dinner. Then planning my lunchtime errand list (order birthday cake for Connor, get gas, pick up stuff from home that I need to return to Party City and Target, pick up recent photos from home so I can see which ones can be deleted from the camera before the party Saturday, etc.) The fun never ends!

Chaos in the home - no more!

I’m in a good mood today.

I’m stoked because I’m taking steps to get the chaos under control in my home. I’ve been really frustrated lately with the mess at our place. It’s cluttered all the time. Not complete tornado style clutter, but lots-of-kids’-toys-everywhere-and-too-many-extraneous-papers-on-the-kitchen-counter type clutter. It’s messy enough that it’s impossible to achieve a calm, peaceful feeling when I’m there. So yesterday I got on the Flylady.com website, which most everyone has at least heard of by now. If you haven’t, I’ll give you a brief synopsis: the website provides tips and routines for controlling chaos in various aspects of ones life, home clutter in particular. I’d checked it out previously, but that was years ago and frankly, I didn’t really need it at the time since I was single and living on my own so my place was never too hideous. Lately, though I’ve been concerned that a lack of set routines for cleaning and tidying will mean that my kids won’t have the skills they need to live as reasonably clean and organized human beings in the future. I decided that we need to get our act together as a family while they can still be trained!

So her big thing (the Flylady) is that the very first thing you should do is keep your kitchen sink shined. Her theory is that as goes the kitchen, so goes the rest of the house. Thus, if your kitchen is disorganized with crap all over the counters and dishes piled in the sink, you’re bound to have chaos elsewhere, as well. Seems reasonable to me, so that’s how I’m approaching things.

I won’t go into everything she talks about on the site, but it’s all very reasonable. Mostly she just tells people to take things slowly, but set specific time frames to clean and organize – like 15 minutes at a time, so you don’t get overwhelmed. Frankly, my place isn’t all that bad (my husband’s bitching notwithstanding). If I can get Connor (and myself :-) on a routine where all clutter and toys are put up before bed every night, it’ll be fine. After only one evening of concentrated clutter clearing, the place looks pretty good. I do have a ways to go in organizing Connor and Cailyn’s respective rooms. As with many kids’ rooms, they don’t have good storage options, so I’m probably going to have to break down and buy some storage bins to help in there. Last night I just threw all of the toys into the toy box and figured we’d organize later.

I also need to be better about having a regular schedule for cleaning (things like mopping of floors, cleaning windows, washing rugs, etc), instead of just doing it when they get noticeably icky. This is where Flylady.com is particularly helpful. She has a system set up so that you work in one zone of your home each week. For instance, this week is the master bedroom and its bathroom, so this week you’ll do all the deep cleaning in that area. Next week will be another area. That way, at least once a month each room in the house will be hit, but you won’t have to spend all day doing it. Just a little bit each day. Very reasonable, even for someone with my schedule. Speaking of which, here’s my optimal daily schedule:

4:45 am Get up.
5:00 am Exercise room to work out. (so far this is the task I’m struggling with!)
6:00 am Shower & get ready for work.
7:00 am Get kids up.
7:15 am Leave for work.
7:45 am Kids to babysitter.
8:00 am Arrive at work.
5:00 pm Leave to get kids.
5:20 pm Head home.
6:00 pm Prepare dinner.
6:30/6:45 pm Eat dinner.
7:00 pm Clean up from dinner.
7:30 pm Kids in the bath
8:00 pm Kids get settled down and ready for bed (usually Connor reads and watches tv with me, while Jerry gives Cailyn another bottle)
8:30 pm Connor and Cailyn to bed. (this often doesn’t happen until 8:45 or so, with Connor)
9:00 pm Do evening tidying around the house, then evening prep – make bottles for tomorrow, pick out clothes for tomorrow, bath for Amy, or just reading or television
10:00 pm Bed for Amy (this is usually later – 10:30 to 11 pm, which is too late!)

So that’s my typical day. Other than the working out, which as everyone knows, I’ve been struggling with. My problem is that I don’t get to bed when I should and then the whole getting up at 5 am thing completely stinks. I just HATE getting less than 7 hours of sleep. It turns me into an anti-social slug the next day.

I don’t know if anyone is interested in commenting, but how do you do it? Does this schedule resemble yours, if you have kids? I guess if you’re a natural born cleaner, it may sound strange that I have to go to a website to get a routine for keeping things clean, but I’m just not a neat freak. I have to make an effort – it’s not something that I just love to do.

Still, now that I have kids, I’m bound and determined that they to get used to cleaning, organizing and just living in a tidy space. Routines are so important!

Ok, enough on this topic for today. Lunch is over. Back to work!

OH - and BTW, have done well on the food thing yesterday and today. No details right now, but I'm not disappointed in myself :-).

Yay, it's FRIDAY - whoo hoo!

I'll start this out with a shout out to Willie. Hi Willie, I'm so happy to have you commenting on my blog! I hope things are going well for you lately. I still miss your blog, but it really is time consuming sometimes, so I completely understand you taking a break. Still, I hope you come back at some point :-).

Also I want to say thanks to you, Zeynep, for your kind words the other day. I think you and I have a lot in common in our eating styles. I love to eat healthy, but I also have a desperate love for the fruit of the vine, which makes it very hard to be really strict with myself.

Thanks also to anonymous. I try to be honest with the blog because otherwise its just pointless and I might as well not write at all.

Now, on to regular blog chit chat. The cod last night wasn't the gastronomical taste explosion I was hoping for, but it wasn't bad, either. Lets face it, cod is kind of bland, so I wasn't displeased with the way it tasted with the tomatoes, lemon and onions. And so healthy!

Tonight we're having Jerk Chicken with Caribbean Stewed Veggies. The Chicken is just what you'd expect, Chicken with Jerk Marinade, and I just went with the quick and easy store-bought marinade. The Carribbean Stewed Veggies are prepared as follows:

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Caribbean Stewed Vegetables

2 Tbsp. vegetable oil
2 c. chopped onions
3 c. chopped cabbage
1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper or 1 fresh chile, minced and seeded for a milder flavor
1 Tbsp grated peeled fresh ginger root
3 c. peeled sweet potatoes chopped into 1/2 inch cubes
2 c. undrained chopped tomatoes, fresh or canned
2 c. sliced okra, fresh or frozen
3 Tbsp. fresh lime juice
2 Tbsp. chopped fresh cilantro
salt to taste

Heat the oil over medium heat and add the onions. Saute' until softened, 4 or 5 minutes. Add the cabbage and the cayenne or chile and saute', stirring often, untilt he onions are translucent, about 8 minutes.

Add the ginger and 2 cups water, cover, and heat to boiling. Stir in the sweet potatoes, sprinkle with salt,a nd simmer until the potatoes are barely tender, 5 or 6 minutes. Add the tomatoes, okra, and lime juice. Simmer until the vegetables are tender, about 15 minutes. Stir in the chopped cilantro and salt to taste.

The book suggests topping the stew with chopped peanuts, but I'm not going to, mainly becasue I forgot to buy nuts when I was at the grocery the other night, and I'm not making a special trip for what's essentially a garnish. They suggest serving the stew on rice or with fresh crusty bread. I'll be serving it with rice (our standard starch in our household).

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I don't have much to say today. Am starved so I'll probably eat my lunch a little early, then go on my walk.

I think we're doing the beach thing again this weekend, as it's supposed to be in the 90s. That should be fun, as usual. Also I need to start shopping for Connor's birthday, which is Thursday. He turns 2 years old. We're having his party next Saturday, and my mom and stepdad are driving back down for the occasion. Should be good times.

OK. gotta go. Just thought of a phone call I need to make regarding Connor's b-day, and I need to make it before I forget again (I miss my palm pilot, BIG TIME).

An actual recipe and some other stuff

So I’m about to begin implementation of my exciting “Cook-At-Least-One-New-Recipe-Each-Week” project. I was reading a book titled, “30-Day Revitalization Plan”, and it has a number of recipes that sound tasty, and more importantly to me, EASY and FAST. Taste-schmaste, give me quick and easy and I’m happy as a clam. After stumbling across the recipes in the book, I decided to surf over to the Food Networks website (FoodTV.com) and printed out a bunch from Rachael Ray’s show and a few other assorted recipes from other shows as well. Below is a list of some of the recipes that will be gracing our dinner table over the next few weeks:

Baked Cod with Seasoned Tomatoes
Jamaican Jerk Chicken with Caribbean Stewed Vegetables
Rosemary Grilled Tuna Steaks with Eggplant and Zucchini
Parmesan Crusted Chicken Breast with Tomato and Basil
Stuffed Zucchini and Red Bell Peppers
Roasted Salmon served with Roasted Plum Tomatoes and Caramelized Lemon Slices
Cajun Salmon
Cod Fillets with Lemon and Thyme
Grilled Chicken Thighs Cacciatore with Super Smashed Garlic Potatoes (can tell this is a Rachael Ray recipe just from the name)
Cuban Via Miami Feast: Mashed Plantains with Oh, Baby! Garlic-Tomato Shrimp on Top,
Grilled Flank Steak with Lime and Onions, and Quick Rice with Black Beans (also a Crazy-Named Rachael Ray meal)
Stuffed Peppers with Beef, Rice, Spinach and Cheese
Rosemary Chicken Breasts, Brown Butter and Balsamic Ravioli, Warm Spinach Salad with Pancetta and Sweet Vinaigrette

At any rate, tonight I will be doing Baked Cod with Seasoned Tomatoes, perhaps the very easiest of the above list. I figured I’d start out simple and ramp up :-). I think I’ll just have some salad, rice and various mixed veggies with the cod. For those of you who might be interested, here’s the recipe:

Baked Cod with Seasoned Tomatoes
(serves 4)

1 can stewed tomatoes
2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1 pound Cod fillets
1 tsp yellow mustard seeds
1 onion, thinly sliced
1 lemon, sliced

Combine the tomatoes and Worcestershire sauce in baking dish. Add the cod fillets. Top with the mustard seeds, onion, and lemon. Set oven to 375º and cook until cod is done and flakes easily when probed with a fork. I’m thinking 30 minutes or so.

The actual recipe called for using a medium-size clay pot and lid, which you have to soak in water for 10 to 15 minutes before using it, and it also said to put the stuff in a COLD oven and allow it to warm up, which makes the entire cooking time from 50 to 60 minutes. I have no idea why one would want to use a clay pot rather than a regular baking dish, when it requires so much extra time. If there are any real cooks out there that know the answer to this, by all means comment and let me know.

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I’m in an excellent mood today. No doubt from my whole Renewal vibe. Of course, the caffeine in my coffee probably helped, too. As did the fact that I got 7 hours of sleep last night (ah, bliss). Of course, this implies that I didn’t work out this morning. I’m still struggling to develop a schedule that will actually work for me. I could have gotten up to work out; I woke up early enough today. But I was just so tired that I felt that I really needed the extra hour and a half of sleep. The problem is that lack of sleep is a real QOL (quality of life, for those of you who don’t read the CR list) issue for me. As much as I love working out in the morning, I absolutely DESPISE the feeling of not having enough rest. It’s an issue. I’m going to try working out this evening after I put Connor to bed. I’m afraid I’m not all that confident it will happen, though, as I know just how wrecked I am by 9 pm. We’ll see. If it doesn’t happen, I guess I’ll just have to bite the bullet and do it at 5 am. There just isn’t any other time during the day.

Why God made Moms

For you Moms out there, here’s a cute e-mail I received that made me chuckle:

Why God made Moms?

BRILLIANT answers given by 2nd grade school children when posed with the following questions!!

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He Just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you Your mother & not some other mom?
1. We're related
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Renewal

Something Mary Robinson wrote in her CRON blog last week (she also has a science blog) made me think about the process of reinventing oneself. I think the reason that so many of us fail at whatever it is we’re trying to do is that we don’t see that we need to fundamentally change who we are.

I read something one of those self help gurus said about deciding who you want to be and then living your life to become that person. I’d modify this to say you need to decide the person you want to be and immediately become that person. Live that life. Make the choices that person would make, and conversely don’t do the things that person wouldn’t do.

I think this is why I’ve been struggling with my health habits lately. I didn’t make the mental shift to change who I was and become the person I want to be. Instead I saw it as a process. I started out gung-ho, the way most people do whenever they start on a diet or exercise endeavor, but then after a couple of months the excitement wore off and the stress and/or tedium (or both!) of daily life kicked in and I’d let a little thing slip here or there. A bottle of wine on a week night. Eating pizza or gak snack foods in the evening, thinking, “Oh, a little bit won’t hurt.” Or, “One night a week won’t hurt.” But it wasn’t just one night a week, or just a little bit. As soon as I’d cross the line and eat or drink naughty stuff, a mental shift would occur and I’d feel like, “Oh well, I’ve blown it today, might as well not worry about it tonight. Let’s have some more cheese (or wine, or cheetos, or . . . you get the idea). I’ll start over tomorrow. Or Sunday. Or Monday. Or at the beginning of the month. I talked about this a bit in a previous post, so you’d think I’d have recognized it happening again, but sure enough, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing for the past month or so. Thank goodness I haven’t gone completely overboard and gained a bunch of weight. I’ve really only put back on 2 or 3 pounds, which isn’t bad. My body was only at the lowest weight for a couple of days, so I don’t think it had acclimated to it yet.

At any rate, I’m not happy with how I’ve been doing. It’s depressing to wake up in the morning and realize that I once again lacked the self discipline to stick to my guns. That’s gotta stop. It would be different if I wasn’t so wildly interested in my health. It would be much easier if I just didn’t give a crap about longevity and could eat whatever I wanted without the guilt. But I do give a crap, and it’s completely ridiculous for a person who knows so much about nutrition and exercise and who genuinely wants to do the right thing to make the wrong choices. Actually, that isn’t even the right term. I don’t make the wrong choices; I actually don’t make ANY choices. It’s as though I abrogate my will and just let whatever food or drink is in the vicinity enter my body.

Some things April have written over the years allude to the idea that once she made CR a part of her lifestyle, no food is forbidden and she can basically eat, drink and be merry and yet have no worries that she’ll fall back to her pre-CRON self. I aspire to this, but the past month has revealed to me that I’m clearly not there yet.

But that’s enough self flagellation. The point I’m getting to is that I need to become the person I want to be. And that’s that. I want to be a thin, fit, health nut. I want that to be apparent on the outside. I want the health to just shine through. As much as I love the buzz from too many glasses of wine, I don’t want to be that person any more. I don’t want my kids to see me as a frumpy, lazy mom. I want them to have intrinsic memories of me as a healthy, exercising, health food addict. That’s the person I’m going to be. Starting right now.

New Blog Recommendation

OMG. I just linked to this guy's blog from Liz's "Granny Gets a Vibrator" blog (http://grannyvibe.blogspot.com/ ):

http://badnewshughes.blogspot.com/

The Bad News Hughes Blog is without a doubt the funniest blog I have ever read. I was laughing so hard I was crying. Coffee snorted out my nose. Almost peed my pants. Seriously funny! I want to be adopted into his family. They take the term "drunken revelry" to a whole new level! This blog makes me realize that I have never actually had fun in my whole life - must learn to loosen up!

Anyway, check it out. I highly recommend it.

Long time, no post . . .

So its Monday again. I had a lovely Mother's Day weekend. We didn't do anything too major. We mostly drove around Jacksonville looking at various neighborhoods to get a feel for where we may want to live when it comes time for us to purchase a home down here. I received a lovely "Mom" locket as a gift, which was nice.

I also think I wasn't too awful on my food and nutrition, though I didn't track things, and I did drink more wine on Saturday night than is prudent, but c'est la vie. I enjoyed it!

I'm not going to post much right now, as I'm sweaty and yucky, having just completed my hour walk. I need to get cleaned up and back to work. Not to mention get some water - I'm dying of thirst! It was only supposed to be in the low 80s today, but it sure felt warmer than that to me! There's supposedly a cold front coming through this afternoon, bringing thunderstorms and slightly cooler temps, which will be nice. The high tomorrow is only 78 - should make for lovely walking weather!

Food's going ok today. So far: breakfast was a cup of coffee w/ one pack of coffeemate french vanilla creamer (30 cal) and a South Beach Diet Breakfast Wrap (180 cal). Lunch was a South Beach Diet Entree' (250 cal) with 10 peanut M&Ms for dessert (50 cal). Not to shabby, IMHO.

OK. Gotta go get dressed . . .

On comments . . .

To Linda: Hi! You’re the first Jacksonville person to ever comment on my blog! I actually didn’t make my walk yesterday :-( - the babysitter called to tell me that my son was out of diapers (I had forgotten to grab the new ones that morning), so I ended up doing errands during lunch: home for diapers, gas for car, Wendy’s for lunch, and Walgreens for one more Mother’s Day card. By the time I got back to work, lunch break was over. And while my office is EXTREMELY forgiving and I can pretty much come and go as I want, I didn’t want to completely abuse it by taking a nice long walk on top of it all. I’ve also been waffling on just how long I’ll be able to do the lunchtime walk thing given the heat here. I always change into shorts and a tank top and I have some babywipes that I use as a make-shift shower after the walk, but frankly I still generally feel kind of gross all afternoon. The problem I have is figuring out when the heck to fit in a walk/run other than at lunch. Haven’t come up with a good solution to this one, yet!

To Jessica: it’s wonderful for you to say that I’m inspiring. Frankly, I’m so discouraged at myself most of the time I’m embarrassed to post! Well, that’s not entirely true. I’ll do well for a while then fall off the apple cart. Still, thanks for posting!

And to Zeynep: Noted your new blog page. I’ve also been thinking about changing my from a CRON blog to something else, mainly because my CRONning is an embarrassment :-), but I can’t think of anything else to call it really. Plus, the thought that I’m supposed to post my food helps at least a little bit to keep me on the straight and narrow (a very little bit, I’ll admit). Anyway, I’ll still be reading your stuff – it definitely provides me with a different outlook on life!.

Speaking of CRON – I did pretty well yesterday on calories, I think. I didn’t track them, after work, but I think I was at about 1000 calories before going home. Dinner was leftover pork roast (very fatty) and new potatoes, but I didn’t really eat all that much. Plus I was able to get a lot of the fat off the roast because I had stored it in the fridge and was able to separate the fat from the meat fairly well. Seems like I had one more thing last night, but for the life of me I can’t think what it could have been. Hmmm. Maybe I didn’t. At any rate, I don’t think I was above 1500 calories for the day at the very worst.

Today so far I feel fabulous! I didn’t work out this morning, but I guess I finally got enough rest and since I didn’t have any wine last night, I feel really refreshed. So far I’ve had one of my South Beach Diet Breakfast Wraps (180 cal, 16 g protein, 15 g fiber) and am working on a cup of coffee with some Coffeemate French vanilla flavor creamer (am still out of skim milk and forgot it when I was at the grocery earlier this morning). So far, so good.

To CRON or not to CRON, that is the question

Hello on Wednesday. I thought about posting yesterday, but was in such a vile mood that I thought it best to avoid contaminating blogland with it. I’m happy to report that I seem to be back to normal today. I’ve also been sort of embarrassed to post, since this blog was originally supposed to be about CRON, and frankly, I’ve been so far from CRON lately its not even funny.

I’ve really been struggling to stay focused with it lately. I started out so well, but gosh, I’m just really having problems sticking with it for more than a day or two at a time these past few weeks. What’s the problem? I really don’t know. Take the situation on Monday when I ate the two bagels; I knew before I ate them that I’d regret it later, but I just didn’t care when I was in the act of consumption. What is that about human nature? I’ve been under a lot of stress lately, which probably contributes to the cheating. If our house in Tennessee would sell it would go a long way toward decreasing the stress in my life, but we’re in limbo on it. It’s a long story that I’m not going to go into here, but it’s been a major issue for us ever since we moved.

At any rate, I’m at least happy that I haven’t gained massive quantities of weight. I was down as low as 148 lbs, and now I’m at 151 lbs. So I did put on a few pounds, but nothing too significant. Still, I’m determined to get back into my CRON, if only to regain the healthy feeling that I had. That’s the other weird thing about cheating and even consuming too much alcohol – they’re all about instant gratification – even when you know that you’ll regret it later and feel poor physically, it’s still easy to consume the bad stuff when you’re in the midst of a craving.

I’ve also been on a one time per week workout schedule, which is ridiculous! I’m going to take my walk today, which actually should be nice because it isn’t supposed to be too hot (only 82 degrees or so). And hopefully tomorrow morning I’ll be strong enough mentally to get my ass out of bed and go to the bloody weight room to lift.

So far today I’m working on my first cup of coffee with 3 tsp of coffee creamer (I’m out of skim milk). I also brought in ¾ cup of eggwhites / artificial egg stuff for breakfast, but I haven’t eaten it yet. I know that egg whites are healthier than the egg beaters, but I ran out of egg whites so I had to plunder Jerry’s egg beaters to make up enough for my breakfast.

I also have a ton of work things to do, so I’m going to end this little break and get down to it!

Monday in carb land . . .

Confession time. Today, so far, I have had a cup of coffee with non-dairy creamer and two (2, yes TWO) plain bagels with cream cheese. I had one for brunch and one for lunch. Clearly I was attacked and possessed by some sort of carb craving spirit. A wandering ghost, just looking for someone who had skipped breakfast was very hungry and coincidentally had an office meeting wherein bagels and cream cheese were provided by the boss. Dang it. Oh well. Onward and upward, as they say.

In good news, my daughter had her 6-month well-baby doctor’s appointment this morning, and I’m pleased to report that she’s healthy as a horse and quite normal, other than the Gene Simmons-esque tongue that she somehow was born with. She now weighs 15 lb 14 ounces, which apparently places her in the 25th to 50th percentile on weight. She’s at the 50th percentile on height. All quite average, which is just peachy in my book.

This’ll be a short post, as I’ve made a work vow that I will absolutely finish my Collins Road drainage design this week no matter what. As there are still a number of things to be done, it means that I must be productive and efficient. No more dilly-dallying. So with that – adieu!

Dolphins, and other things that make me happy

We went to the beach again today. The beach is perhaps one of my favorite places in the world. I also like hiking in cool, forested areas like state parks. But there is something about the beach that just speaks to me.

I've been blessed to see dolphins playing in the surf every time I've been at the beach so far this year, which is five or six times, I think. What is it about dolphins that just makes a person happy? I've read science fiction in which the authors speculate that dolphins communicate telepathically. Naturally, I realize that this is complete fiction, but at the same time, its undeniable that dolphins evoke positive vibes in just about everyone they come in contact with.

Today the ocean was PERFECT. Almost completely flat, and the tide was out, so there were lots of little pools that had formed in the sand, which was ideal for Connor, who's still small enough that he's intimidated by big surf. We even took Cailyn into the water today. She didn't like the breaking waves, but loved splashing in the warm pools formed by the receding tide. We also had two of my stepdaughters (Keri and Alexis) with us. All in all, it was a really great day. We actually weren't there all that long, though. It's funny - back when I was single, I could happily spend 4 to 6 hours on the beach, just sunning and swimming, and sometimes boogy-boarding. When you have kids, the time seems to stretch out. It felt like we were there forever, but when I think back, I realize it couldn't have been more than an hour or so. Weird time warp thing.

Right now I'm enjoying some peace and quiet. Jerry's taking Keri and Alexis to their respective homes, and Connor and Cailyn are currently napping. I just finished a lovely long bath and am getting ready to fold massive quantities of laundry. Which is fine. I don't mind laundry. It's just one of those things you have to do.

Oh - I almost forgot to mention another of the nice things that happened today! When we were getting ready to leave the beach we met a group of men and boys and it turns out that they were here from Afghanistan so that two of the boys could have heart surgery. They've been on the news locally. You know, I've been vociferously against the war in Iraq. I've always thought it took too much of our effort away from Afghanistan, which was a war that I feel DID need to happen. It was at least uplifting to see that there are still good things happening from the Afghanistan conflict, even if its just the improvement of two young lives. I only hope that we can leave these countries better than they were when we came. Afghanistan I feel more confident about than I do Iraq. I'm not going to go off on politics in this post, because I'd end up writing for hours. But I will say that I hope our president some day feels guilt for all the things that he's done, instead of acting as though he has a mandate from God. His hypocricy disgusts me. And the fact that so many truly wonderful Christians believe that he's sincere just saddens me even more.

OK - I'm not going to discuss politics any more because I just get worked up and angry, both things that I'm making strong efforts to avoid in my life. I'm making strides to achieve peace and serenity. Not entirely successful strides, I have to admit. I tend to get stressed easily when pulled in many different directions, and when you have two kids and three step-kids and are the one who gets stuff ready, and food prepared, and does the bill paying, etc., peace and serenity are often hard to come by. Small steps, though. That's what I'm going for. Like just enjoying the moment when I was soaking in the tub this afternoon. Sometimes you just have to live in the moment, and forget the mess in the living room and the laundry piled on the bed.

I guess I can't ignore them anymore, though. I need to get everything done so I can relax again this evening to psych myself mentally for going back to work tomorrow. Fun.

Till tomorrow, then!

Friday update

Ok- lunchtime update. Things accomplished so far today:

Woke up (meaning that the coffee did the trick and now I’m wired, baby!).
Purchased birthday gift and card for babysitter.
Did bank stuff.
Started working on the work stuff I need to be working on (yes, I did use the word work three times - no, four now - in this sentence.- can you tell I’m highly caffeinated?). Will I finish aforementioned work stuff before 2 pm, when I leave to get the kids? Not sure.

Things I still need to accomplish today:
1. Get on-line and see if I can renew my library books. (No time during lunch hour to get to library).
2. Stay productive until 2-ish, when I go get my kids.
3. Take Connor and Cailyn on walk when we get home. This should make up for being workout slacker this morning (even if it wasn’t my fault that I didn’t work out).


Weekend goals:
1. Laundry
2. Network my computer w/ Jerry’s computer and transfer all photos taken within the last three years from his computer to mine. (This is the first step in my next “MAJOR PROJECT”, in which I first burn all photos to CDs, then take said CDs to Walmart, where I will get the photos printed, and then I will label all the photos with who’s in them and where and when they were taken, and then I will organize and place them in photo albums, so that when I’m 130 years old I can look back at the photos of my wonderful children and reminisce. Unless, of course, it takes me until I'm 130 years old just to finish this project.)
3. Finish reading book, “Life Shift”, by Aleta St. James, which is about recognizing your dreams and desires and making changes in your life to trigger your intuition and other such things (I don’t know what yet, because I haven’t finished the book :-) ) in order to attain these dreams and goals. If it sounds like an ooey-gooey self help book, that’s because it is. But I like it anyway. I’m planning a post where I talk about these ideas, as they are something I’m struggling with lately (i.e. recognizing just what my dreams and goals now are, since they’re clearly not what they were back when I was a young, fresh, idealistic teenager, and figuring out how the heck I can achieve them when I’m so busy just trying to get everything done each day before collapsing into bed).

The weekend goals will be potentially complicated by the fact that the two youngest stepdaughters are coming over for the weekend, which means we’ll probably be “doing” something. I’m thinking our major thing this weekend might be to go to the Shrimp Festival at Fernandina Beach, which is a small town just north of Jacksonville. Otherwise I suppose we’ll just do the pool or beach thing again, which would undoubtedly be cheaper.

OK. Gotta get back to work now.

Is it Friday, or Monday?

You know, I really wish I’d been able to work out this morning. I’m really missing the endorphin rush I had yesterday. And I’m not even going to be able to walk at lunch the way I usually do, so I’ll be without said endorphins all day. This has been a blah morning for me. I was awake early, but was feeling kind of tired and yucky – wasn’t really in the mood to work out. Still, I was awake, so I figured I’d go anyway - I knew I'd feel way better after a workout. Unfortunately, Cailyn was wide awake when I gave her the bottle this morning at 4:45 am, and wasn’t in the mood to go back to sleep right away. So I wasn’t able to go work out because I was dealing with her. She finally slipped off to sleep again at 5:30 am. And then I made my mistake. I went back to bed.

This is one of the paradoxes of life. How you can be fairly awake and alert at 5 am, fall back asleep at 5:35 or so, and then go into such a deep sleep that when you wake up 40 minutes later, you’re so groggy and lethargic that the whole idea of getting out of bed is completely repugnant. Weird.

At any rate, in order to get to work by 8:00 am (my goal arrival time), I need to be up and at ‘em by 6:00. Since I didn’t make that deadline, I knew I was going to be late unless I really pushed it. Then I remembered that I was almost completely out of gas, which added yet another delay to my commute. So, long story long (I certainly can’t say long story short!), I didn’t get to work until 8:30. And now, even after 1.5 diet soft drinks (yeah, bad for me, whatever) and a large cup of coffee, I’m still feeling tired, lethargic, and completely unmotivated to do anything resembling work. I hate when I feel that way because then I have the guilt about not being productive piled up on top of the groggy, lethargic, unmotivatedness, too! A vicious cycle.

Maybe I’ll have another cup of coffee. At least the caffeine has a chance of perking me up. I’d take a walk, but I really can’t today because I’m going to have to pick the kids up early from the babysitter because they have a conflict this afternoon. Shoot, I just remembered that I need to run to the store and buy some sort of birthday gift for the babysitter before I pick the rugrats up at 2 pm this afternoon. Oh, AND I need to run to the bank some time today to transfer some money from one account into another. AND I need to return my two library books because I think they may be late (again!). I hate days like this. Surely I slipped into some sort of time warp while sleeping and it's actually Monday, not Friday - you think?

Ok. Here’s my plan: I’m definitely having another cup of coffee. Then I’m going to do some squats and lunges in my office, just to get the blood flowing and to make me feel better about not having done my lower body workout this morning. Then I’m going to get onto my computer and finish the task I’ve been plodding on for the past week. It’s THIIIISS close to being done. By then I’m sure I’ll be back to my normal disgustingly hyper, cup-is-half-full self.

Will let you know how it goes.

Some weekend photos

Me, baby Cailyn, my mom, and Connor at the beach last weekend.

















Extreme close-up!

















Cailyn looking too cute for words, and chewing on her hand teether like she's a starving woman.

















Connor, looking out at the ocean (well actually looking at Grandpa Phil and Uncle Steve who were currently walking up the boardwalk toward us).
















Jerry at home, always uncomfortable when I take pictures of him (he almost never smiles in photos unless he's caught off guard - this is about as close as it gets!)

On being back in the groove . . .

Foods Yesterday:

Breakfast:
Coffee w/ 4 oz skim milk (48 cal)
Lean Pockets Breakfast Thingy (140 cal)

Lunch:
South Beach Diet Entrée, Penne Pasta w/ chicken in roasted red pepper sauce, with Broccoli (290 calories)
20 oz Diet Green Tea (0 calories)

Afternoon snacks:
8 oz fat free yogurt (Winn Dixie Brand, Banana Cream Pie flavor) 130 cal
1 cup coffee w/ 4 oz skim milk (48 calories)
16 almonds (111 calories)

Dinner:
Baked chicken breast, marinated in herb garlic marinade, 150 grams, (248 cal)
2 Tbsp. Lewis Labs Brewers Yeast (116 cal)
Frozen Broccoli, Cauliflower, & Carrots 1.5 cups (82 cal)

Nighttime Snack
Doritos (yeah, yeah, I know), 1 oz (136 cal)
Salsa (6 Tbsp), 30 cal
12 oz caffeine-free Diet Coke (0 calories)

Nutrient Totals:

1375 calories, (126 g protein (!), 142 g carbs, 40 g fat)
38 P : 34 C : 27 F (Check out that ratio – Zone City!)
Fiber 29.5 grams (also excellent)

A little high on calories, but not too much, given that I walked for an hour yesterday. Speaking of which . . .

Yesterday I did my lunchtime walk, and actually ran 4 minutes of the thing, which sounds pathetic but is more than I usually do, so hooray for me! I also got my booty out of bed at 4:45 this morning, fed Baby Girl, then went to the exercise room and did an upper body weight routine, so double hooray for me! There should be a parade! Marching bands! Handsome young men in tight shorts shouting out my name – ok, that’s another fantasy! Besides, I usually go for older guys :-). At any rate, let it be known that I’m feeling very proud of myself. I’ve climbed back up on the horse after having been a naughty cronner and lazy exerciser for over a week. And gosh I feel good for having been good for a few days. I just don’t know why I even let myself go, when I feel so lousy for having done it! I really do notice it in the mirror when I’ve been naughty for more than a day or two, I feel old and icky. Dark circles under my eyes. Pasty grayish skin. Bleck! It’s just not worth it to not stick with the program.

I really must make a vow that I’ll only have one (that’s 1, uno, un, ONE WITH CAPITAL LETTERS) off-day per week. I’ve decided to ensure that this is the situation by only having wine on said day. As I have discussed previously, wine is my favorite food in the world. And yes, wine is a food – my Wine Appreciation professor from college told me so (Professor Vine - not a joke - that was his name. Look it up, he probably still works in the Purdue Food Sciences Department!) But where was I? Ah yes . . . though I love it dearly and would allow wine to be my primary source of carbs given the opportunity, if I drink more than two or three glasses of wine at a sitting, I feel like eating all of Jacksonville and the neighboring communities, too. And I’m not talking about pounds and pounds of broccoli. Nope. We’re talking plates of cheddar, hunks of brie, French bread dipped in olive oil and basil, and even the nontraditional wine accompaniments of Doritos, Cheetos, or the occasional oatmeal cream pie. Not good.

It frankly amazes me that I never got fatter than I did back in my 20s, because I used to drink a lot of wine and eat so much gak along with it (Olive Garden take-out, Pizza Hut, giant plates of brie and crackers, etc.)! Do not attempt at home, children. No joke, I could polish off a serious quantity of wine in a single night, back in my hedonistic, party-like-there-ain’t-no-tomorrow days. Needless to say, there was a tomorrow, and the “good old days” are currently visible in the wrinkles on my face and the flab on my ass.

Not to mention that now that I have my adorable babies, I can’t in good conscience drink more than a few glasses of wine at a single sitting. I can’t actually get intoxicated, or else I wouldn’t be able to take care of middle of the night emergencies like bad dreams or an unexpected poopy diaper, both of which happen on regular occasions. Shoot, I still have to deal with middle of the night feedings for Cailyn at least one night per week!

I can’t say I have major regrets for having overindulged so much during my 20s. I may change my tune if all the toxins I ingested eventually give me cancer, but for now, I have no other option than to hope that my current excellent eating habits (well, mostly excellent) will make up for my decade of naughtiness. At least I never smoked or did drugs! Right now my biggest concern is doing what I can to both live as long as possible and look as good as possible while doing it (Vanity, thy name is Amy!).

Ok. I’ve gone off enough for one post. Will let you know how it goes (I generally always do, right?)

Coffee Experiment du Jour

So I'm pouring my second cup of coffee of the day, and the pot has been sitting for over three hours, which will no doubt impact the flavor negatively. I'm not overly fond of the actual taste of coffee anyway, so I'm a bit concerned that my 1/2 cup of skim milk and 2 packets of Splenda won't be adequate to make the stuff palatable. Meanwhile, I just opened an 8 oz container of Winn Dixie Brand Nonfat Yogurt, Banana Cream Pie flavor for an afternoon snack. The wheels start churning.

Long story short, I dropped a large dollop of yogurt into the coffee (maybe 2 Tbsp). It seems to be a success (so far). The yogurt added more sweetness, without being cloying, and more importantly, it added to the thickness of the coffee. As I've mentioned several times previously, I'm a person who likes a LOT of creamer in my coffee, so that it's nice and thick and gooey. At one point in my dark history, I used to add giant squirts of whipped cream from a can to my coffee, just to sugar it up and make it even thicker. Until a friend of a friend recently informed me that even the small amounts of partially hydrogenated whatever that makes up non-dairy creamer could be a bad thing, I was using large quantities of the stuff in my coffee. So if I can find a nice calcium rich, sweetening/thickening agent in the form of yogurt, well, BONUS! Maybe I'll try different flavors! Blueberry coffee? Pina Colada Coffee? Strawberry Banana Coffee? We'll see. I can't say they sound all that appetizing, but then neither does just plain jane coffee, to me. Will keep everyone posted on the ongoing experiment!

Did you forget me while I was a non-blogger?

Its days like today that I feel incredibly guilty about having moved back to Jacksonville. My mom, stepdad and youngest brother have been visiting for the past few days, but they have to leave to return home to Tennessee this morning. My kids are extremely attached to them, and vice versa. In many ways it makes me feel really selfish to have uprooted them to move back to Florida.

On the other hand, I hated working in Tennessee. I don’t mind Tennessee at all. In fact I really love the Murfreesboro area in particular (it’s a town about 30 miles south of Nashville). But the pay is considerably less up there and, at least at the place I was working, it was a lot more stressful. Not to mention that my commute into downtown Nashville was beyond sucky (that being the correct technical term). Right before I moved back to Florida, I was offered a position with the City of Murfreesboro that I would have loved to have accepted if it weren’t for one thing: it would have meant yet another pay cut. Down here at my current company, I have a lot of autonomy to do my job, and wonderful prospects for advancement, all at a much higher salary. All good things. And I love Florida. I love the beach. I love the long summers and the short cool winters. All in all, I love living here in Florida.

But I have to confess that it’s incredibly painful to say goodbye to my parents, knowing that they won’t see my kids for a while. Actually, this visit shouldn’t feel as bittersweet because my parents will be coming back down at the end of the month for Connor’s 2nd birthday, but it still saddens me. I wish I had enough money that I could have homes in both places, and be able to spend time in both places. I’m sure I’m not the only American with those sentiments. It’s horrible to feel so tied to one’s livelihood that you can’t even spend the time with your family that you’d like to.

Ok. I need to concentrate on something else or I’ll start crying again. I honestly didn’t start getting upset until after we’d said our goodbyes and I left for work – crazy! I hate blubbering and being a crybaby - especially during the workday. Happily, my boss is completely cool and very understanding of my situation.

Since this blog started out as a CRON blog, I really need to get back to being more serious about my CRON. I’ve been eating healthy ad-lib for the past few weeks. Healthy, fairly nutritious, but with the occasional insertion of gak that I’m embarrassed to admit on this blog. For the last few days, it was the Doritos that my brother had brought with him to our place. I love Doritos. Yes, I truly love them. I could pretend to be a hard-core health nut and pretend that all gak just doesn’t do it for me, but the fact is, there are certain items out there that I adore. Doritos are one of them. Which is why I never buy them. We almost never have them in the house, unless they’re in those little snack-sized bags we buy the girls so they'll have gak to eat when they come over for visits.

Anyway, I’m usually fairly able to avoid the bad foods that we have on hand, but for the past couple of weeks, I’ve had at least one item of gak every day - usually its in the form of cheese and wine, but its occasionally something else. I know I haven’t gone overboard because I haven’t really gained any weight. At least I’m reasonably sure I haven’t. I weighed myself yesterday morning after having eating a large breakfast (1 cup eggwhite omelet with 1 cup spinach, turmeric, garlic powder, and 2 Tbsp salsa with 2 cups of coffee with 3 tsp coffee creamer in each) and I weighed a few pounds more than I had a few weeks ago, but I largely attribute that to the excessively full stomach. I need to do the naked weigh-in again tomorrow.

At any rate, I’m back on track today. So far, I’ve had one breakfast croissant thingy at 140 calories, 1 cup of coffee with 4 oz skim milk and 2 packets of Splenda. Not too shabby. And I plan to walk at lunch, for the first time in almost a week and a half.

The reason for my slackerness the last few weeks was largely workload and busy home-life. I had a proposal deadline this past Monday, and spent most of last week working my hiney off trying to get it done. Our team finished it up on Monday, then I took yesterday off to spend time with my family. I’m really looking forward to getting back into a stricter regimen again, though. I feel really sluggish and lethargic for having not worked out in about a week and having eaten at least moderate amounts of gak daily. It’ll be nice to get that clean, energetic feeling back.

Ok. Though my killer work deadline is over, I still do need to work, so I’m going to get back to it. Break’s over!